Two weeks and a dozen mistresses later, Tiger Woods is in a free fall. I feel so badly for him.
When the first escort went public I wrote a column about how typical it is for some powerful men to want it all; the prestige, the wife, the cute kids, the mistress. But this is different. Tiger’s wife Elin is rightly getting all the support. In seclusion, away from adoring fans and advertisers but no farther from what he has done than his own pulse, Tiger Woods must feel quite alone.
I’m as much absorbed in the coverage of Tiger’s predicament as I am in the drama itself. For once, every supermarket tabloid with Woods and his wife on the cover seems worth the $3.99. The brainy ABC news anchor Charlie Gibson finds Tiger’s story intriguing for its elements of Greek or Shakespearean tragedy. The women on The View debate whether Tiger should consent to an interview to repair his image. Financial channels discuss how the PGA will survive without the man who is the sport of golf. Saturday Night Live did a hilarious satire last weekend of how other unfaithful men like former Presidential candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer are bitter because their stories of infidelity don’t get attention anymore.
Some advertisers are now dropping Woods because he no longer represents what they sell, like the financial house Accenture trying to build trust with its customers in a recession. Of the many adjectives that describe Tiger Woods, trust is probably at the bottom of the list now. On the other hand, a 30-something amateur golfer proudly wore his Tiger Woods hat on the links the other day. Interviewed on the news he said he wears the hat because of Tiger Woods the golfer, not Tiger Woods the man.
The gorgeous foreign-born wife, the stricken, hospitalized mother-in-law, the voice mail begging a mistress for help covering up because the wife is calling unfamiliar phone numbers, the $12,000,000.00 post-nuptial agreement, and the confounding expectation Tiger Woods thought he could keep his dalliances a secret indefinitely: How about those kiss-and-tell mistresses? Tiger told each one he loved them most and they seemed to believe it. Why? Was it the Midas touch or something completely lacking in the girls, or both? Combine the realms of corporate with marriage, athletics with sex, hero status with money and jeez, there’s something for everyone in this mess.
Unlike people lashing out with anger on message boards, I’m fascinated by the pathology of what happened to Tiger. How could a man so disciplined in his sport be so utterly sloppy with his love life? Dismissing it as sex addiction or steroidal powerful-men-who-lust touches the branch but not the root.
When psychotherapy uncovers the reason for Tiger’s behavior, it will surely be the one element of this story Tiger manages to keep to himself. Against a flood of personal and embarrassing revelations, at his core, Tiger Woods is still a man of mystery.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Maureen, this is so well written. I kind of agree with Charlie Gibson, it is like a Greek tragedy. It’s funny I almost bought People Magazine today as I had to wait in line, but put it back. It’s just a sad,sad story. Fortunately the children are young and saved from the humiliation that older children would have to deal with. I think it was Don who said you should write a book. I totally agree. Carol
Carol you are so wonderfully loyal. I swear, if my head is ever small going into my blog, it gets real big reading your (and Don’s and everyone else’s) compliments about the quality of my writing. It keeps me going. Thanks so much. And yes, the People Magazine cover sucked me in too.
I agree with Carol’s sentiments. I’ve shared your blog with a number of people who I thought would enjoy it. In addition to your entries, I check back in often to read the comments left by others. They’re very enjoyable too.
Cathy, thank you so much! This means more than you know and my head is now swelled beyond what will fit through the door. As my friend Michael Benny says, “MWAH” which is the sound that is made when you pucker a kiss and send it. I am grateful for the regulars who read and post often. Some readers respond to other readers which is more satisfying for me than I can describe. You are all the best. The very best.
From Subscriber Jan:
Tiger woods is being held out to dry by everyone more than our cheating President who should have been impeached ,but got away with it . I don’t understand why the press gets such a kick out of ruining some peoples lives and let others get off scott free! Do you agree ? Isn’t it a shame that athletes lives are common fodder for talk shows like Letterman who has had his own disgretion? Jan
Maureen: Jan I’m sure you’re not alone in that assessment. Thanks for your thoughts. M.
I’m going to get on Carol’s bandwagon and say I just enjoy this blog so much. When I get the emails, usually midday alerting me to a post, it makes my day. It’s always informative but most of all you also bring a smile to my face.
Denise
Maureen-
Ya know, once the body count of Tiger’s mistresses (at around 12 and counting) began to approach the number of major tournaments he has won (14 I think), I was tempted to write back on the Almost Perfect post.
Now I must admit that I was way short in my assessment of possible reasons for Tiger’s, uh, actions. Way short. Because of his unique place in our culture, he has taken himself (and us) to another dimension: one that is very, very difficult to comprehend.
I’ve heard the argument that Mrs. Ruth lived in a similar situation, yet the “Babe” continued to be adored. Why not Tiger? Well, for one thing, everyone at that time loved their rogues and knew that George Herman could not resist anything connected with “wine, women, and song.” Tiger’s obsession with exercising complete control over his universe is one of his undoings. And that was then, and this is now; and the “now” is very different than the “then.”
This will be, for quite some time, discussed ad nauseum. Our minds will to remain jello as we struggle to make sense of it all. But, if anyone can come close to defining it, you did that so very eloquently.
I can only add one thought. It seems to be a sentiment gathering believers. No matter what Tiger does in the future, we will never look at him in the same way again. And that is so very sad.
I still wish him and his family the peace they so desperately need.
Don
Denise, I like this bandwagon! This is most rewarding. I type away, alone in my kitchen, never realizing someone might enjoy reading my thoughts. Thanks so, so much. M.
Don as always your thoughts are penned so well. Yes, we will never see Tiger again in the same way. I think we’re all adjusting to the new reality of T.W. Thanks for a lovely post. M.
Good Mornin Maureen, It is a sad state of affairs but men or women do not cheat until they get caught,but, still can hit a good driver. Time will heal Tiger if he is strong enough. If he is not strong he was a great golfer and a lousy cheater. Life goes on !
True Denny. Life will go on to the next thing eventually. And yes, now we can say Tiger is lousy at something.
Thanks.
What shocks me is you saying you “feel bad for Tiger”. A married woman saying she feels bad for a guy that has been unfaithful to the wife who has borne his children. This is why Tiger will be back and stronger then ever, because we are a forgive and forget society. We think, he didn’t cheat on me so it’s OK. I think Tiger is a great golfer and always will be. I think Tiger is an awful husband and always will be. Will the PGA suffer until Tiger comes back? Yup
Will other sponsors drop Tiger? Yup
Will Tiger come back and be popular once again? Yup
Will I ever feel sorry for Tiger? Nope
Now to join the others, II love reading your posts, don’t always agree with everything you write . But I do enjoy reading them. Once last thing. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thanks for your comments Ken. I love reading them all. Yes, I feel badly for Tiger. He could have done better but couldn’t we all in some way? My empathy for him doesn’t come from my role as a married woman. It comes from being a mother. I’ve seen four children make mistakes both big and small and I’ve loved them through all of it. I’ve had faith they would do better for themselves someday. When they stormed up the stairs and screamed that they hated me after being ordered to do a chore, I focused on the cause of the hurtful comment and not the comment itself. I could have screamed back, I could have withered and felt sorry for myself that this is the thanks I get after all that work, but I didn’t. I focused on the cause. I didn’t blame them for hating me for making them work. I’d hate me too. I told them they were free to hate me but they had to keep it to themselves. With Tiger, I am more focused on what drove him to behave this way. The behavior is wrong, but it comes from somewhere. I’m curious about the “somewhere” because it’s probably not a bad place. If I were awful in someway, I would pray there are sympathetic souls out there who would have faith in me to do better moving forward. Your opinion of Tiger always being an awful husband is probably typical. But I believe he wants to be better and with help, he will be. Hope is what keeps us going when things go wrong. Anyway, it is most satisfying to me that you continue to read my blog even though you might disagree with my opinions. Thank you! I promise to give your views a place here too. You might find more people agreeing with you than agreeing with me.
Merry Christmas to you and yours Ken, and the very best to come in 2010. Maureen
I was the kid that ran up the stairs yelling “I hate you” O so many years ago…lol
I hope Tiger does figure out how to be a good husband. With work, a marriage is a “GREAT” thing…
As for “why” Tiger did what he did, I have strong opinions on why. I could give my beliefs here but it could start a heated debate and I know you didn’t start your blog so people could argue.
Just so you know I wasn’t a huge Tiger fan to start with. He is the greatest the sport has ever seen and I respect him for that. Just always been a Greg Norman fan..
Time will tell if your right about Tiger being a better husband. If he were smart, he would not contest the divorce and stay single until he realizes what a marriage really is.
Have a great “Christmas” season…
Ken (married 20 years and counting)
Thanks again Ken, and don’t hold back the comments. Lively discussion is more than welcomed here! Married 20 years? My husband’s grandmother once said “the first 50 years are the hardest”. I love that. Cheers.
Maureen, this blog is amazing. I laughed so hard when I read Ken’s remarks about the kid running up the stairs. I got chills reading Doc’s blog. Hang in there, you are doing a great service. Carol
Carol, you are a good new friend like Doc. Yup. We laugh and we cry here. Something for all moods.
Hugs. M.
Good Mornin Maureen, Your husband’ s grandmother is really right first 50 years are the hardest. I have had a 52 year married experience (took two times ),but, me and The War Dept have got it right 30 years this time. Real life is, the older you get the smarter you are, your kids and mine learned this. So did we!
When Bill Clinton was asked why he
had the “affair” with Monica Lewinsky, he answered, “because I could.”
Same with Tiger, I think.
Friends and colleagues knew about Tiger’s affairs and did nothing (as far as we know) to counsel him. In fact one of his best friends facilitated his daliences.
Not a psychological answer, but a practical answer.
He did it because he could.
Yes Sam, I believe you are right. Let’s see what he chooses to do now. Thanks for the comment. M.