Valentine’s Day is four days away, which is plenty of time to think of something heartfelt and free.

Speaking for most women, I assure you that roses and chocolate are always appreciated.  But allow me to share a most adorable plan I learned from a friend today.

This 24 year old woman is looking beyond Valentine’s Day to her boyfriend’s birthday at the end of the month.  She told me she purchased an electric keyboard and will dedicate the next three weeks after work to learning her boyfriend’s favorite selection, Fur Elise.

Fur Elise holds special meaning for me too because my aunt used to play it on the piano when she babysat my sisters and me.   Neither of my parents played, so my Aunt Marion was the only one to make that lovely instrument in the living room come alive.  To recall my talented aunt stumbling through the work gives my friend Catherine’s goal particular respect.  Catherine hasn’t played piano since fourth grade.

As if learning the piece were not enough, Catherine said to perform the “gift”, she will don the evening gown her boyfriend purchased for her a little while ago and like a black and white movie, the image is sophisticated and pure; her mile long arms reaching for the keys, her two mile long legs anchoring her tall but tiny frame.  This elegant and educated young woman could not appear anything less than magazine-perfect if she wore a Bluefish jumper.

Catherine has a reputation for being thoughtful.  Out of the blue, for no special occasion, her friends receive a hand-written note asking how they are, what’s new with the love life and job.   That’s about it.  There’s no rundown of a year’s happenings like The Christmas Newsletter, no other purpose than to remind the fortunate recipient Catherine is thinking of us and we are important enough to warrant stationary, good penmanship and a stamp.  I love that Catherine does this, and therefore, I vow to do it too; the 51 year old learning something old-fashioned from the woman half her age.

With unemployment on the rise, home values on the decline and very little certainty in the world today, thoughtfulness needn’t be in short supply and it doesn’t cost a thing.     I doubt there’ll be a run on electic keyboards.  But with a lot of heart and a little imagination, the music can play for all whom we love.

Hit the age of 40 and you  stop paying attention to certain things, and if you think these things aren’t important, just talk to a teenager.   Their head will cock and their expression will read “you are so old you’re cute”.  This is because they know you listen to stuck music, wear stuck fashion, and count on stuck habits to conduct your life.   In other words, you know nothing about anything that matters.

I was reminded of this yet again when my best college pal vented her frustration in trying to convince her fellow artists in Virginia that their gallery would sell more if they moved to a new space around the corner.   My friend is meeting great resistance from the group that probably has an average age of 58.  My friend is 52, but she’s not stuck. She pays attention to the world whizzing by.   I don’t know the other members, but I would guess the women are still wearing waist-high jeans and the men wear slacks with double pleats and cinched ankles.  They don’t want to move in more ways than one.

When a 50 year old guy I was dating purchased a power boat a few years ago, he went to his buddies on the golf course for suggestions of CDs he should buy for the sound system.    To a person, everyone recommended music from the 1980s, which was the last time they cared. They were in their thirties in the 80s and the thirties is the last decade when progress comes to you naturally.   After that, you have to come to progress and if you don’t, you’ll be cute in that unflattering way.

I suppose there’s nothing wrong with acting one’s age in this way, but it sure isn’t very fun and these days it isn’t Presidential.  Barack Obama loaded his I-Pod with John Coltrane until his Body Man insisted on the campaign trail the candidate add some Jay-Z and Lil Wayne.  Obama is the coolest man ever to occupy the White House due in some part to having the cultural appetite of a person half his age.    I’m sure he’d think the move to a different gallery in Virginia would be a great idea.

Not sure if you’re stuck?

Tune in a Top 20 radio station and see if anything sounds familiar.  Points if you can identify the artist.

Drive to your local college or university and ask yourself if anything in your closet looks at all like what you see on the people walking around.  Forget brand names, just study the silhouette of the fashion and see if you match up.

Go to one of the celebrity sighting websites.  It’s more important than you think. Who are the paparazzi following?  It’s not Richard Dreyfuss and Jane Seymour.  You’ve got to know what makes Chloe Sevigny  famous and who  is Gavin Rossdale  married to.   It will come up in cocktail conversation somewhere that matters.  Trust me on this.

I’m not saying you should do any of this at the expense of the New York Times and CNBC.  Just don’t let the rest of the world pass you by as you brush up on current events and the stock market. Like so much else in life,  exercise will keep you going, and that includes exercising the pop culture muscle.