As the Age of Abundance comes to a close, one thing people need not reduce is the number of their friends, though they might want to consider it anyway. On social networking sites people have 300, 400 friends. I congratulate them and I don’t doubt at all the ability to manage all those friends. Me? I list them differently. I count them on one hand.
My aunt Marion used to say if, by the end of your life, you can count your good friends on one hand, you are truly blessed. And she should know. As a young woman, Marion was a novice in the Convent of the Roman Catholic Church. She’s closest to God of anyone I know and if she says five friends are enough it’s probably because He told her. That’s good enough for me.
Friends are different from acquaintances and colleagues and buddies. You run into acquaintances in restaurants, at large parties; you usually don’t invite them to the wedding. Colleagues are great alliances for office gossip. You agree the boss is definitely wrecking the place and you share a fiendish laugh about it, but once you’re home you switch right to family and don’t think of your fellow worker until the next day. And buddies, they’re wonderful for a game of golf or a bike ride. After you’re done sweating, you grab a bite to eat and you go your separate ways until the next play date comes up.
Friends carry you through your own life. They celebrate your successes, they absorb your sadness, they strategize so you can have the deepest, most meaningful life you deserve. They see things clearly that you can’t see at all because you’re too close to your own existence. And their greatest gift may be in wisely knowing it is not their job to judge and push, but to witness and encourage.
I am fortunate to have tremendous people in my life and they number more than the fingers on my hand, but the very closest five are there by one measure. If I asked any one of them to fly immediately to Alaska, no questions asked, I am confident they would do it. And I would do it for them. Even in January.
For now, I try to ask for a little less. That they are always available for me to selfishly grab too much of their time with my issues and interests, I am one of the lucky ones who can count my good friends on only one hand.
Loading ...
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Maureen, well put. I know I’m counted on that one hand, as are you. Thanks for your loyalty and love for these past thirty-three years. Can you believe it? Where has the time gone? God blessed me twice with you…first, bringing us together in Newport and then, having you settle in my old hometown so we’d never lose touch. Even with family gone from the area, I am still connected to central New York, thanks, in part, to you. Our friendship has weathered distance, marriage, children, divorce, disability and much more! Rock solid, I’d say. xo
Yes Dee, you didn’t even have to hesitate to know you’re on that hand, but I’m the lucky one in this deal. With you I get a friend with a left brain AND a right brain. You just get me and what remains of my right brain side. Thank you by the way, for doing occasional remedial math for me.
You are so right about the passage of time. How can our children be making their way through college when it seems you and I were just there only ten years ago? I’ll never forget my first trip to Syracuse ever, with you and Camille, about 1977, in your car that kept overheating on the thruway. Didn’t that drive from Newport take us about 11 hours or something? No wonder I passed out in the Poorhouse that night, the one and only time I’ve ever fainted. Ha. Memories…. Hey, since people are beginning to find my little blog, let me put in a plug for your jewelry, deeantil.com. Beautiful pieces I cherish almost as much as I cherish you. Love, Mo
Yep, my 1968 Dodge dart was all I could afford back then, but I loved it just the same. Funny how we remember different details, bits and pieces of events. My love for my first set of wheels has caused me to block out the ugly facts about it’s reliability. And thanks for the plug about my jewelry on another entry. You’re a dear friend as I’ve already mentioned. xo