Commander Navarre

We all hope to make a mark on this world and I can think of no greater contribution to society as a whole than to influence a single child.  I was surprised to learn over the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend that I did this in a small way without realizing it.

Among our closest friends are the Navarres; Marc and Valerie, and their three boys Emric, 20,  Nicholas, 17, and Charles, 11.  Marc and Valerie grew up in France and came to the U.S. to get graduate degrees in business.  I met them in the 1980s when we were all starting careers in Syracuse.

Emric attends Charlie's 2nd birthday in Syracuse, 1991

Blessed with seven children between us, unlucky in marriage, and with several moves back and forth to France for the Navarres, Valerie and the boys are now in Pittsburgh while I remain in Syracuse with three children in college or on their own, and one child still in High School.  I am the Catholic Godmother to Nicholas; Valerie and Marc are Christian’s Godparents.  You can’t make many promises in life that include the word “forever” but its the correct description of the enduring bond of these two families.

Through the years, when the Navarres were called back to France for Marc’s job they feared their boys would lose their bilingual abilities, so we developed an informal “trade” of sorts.  I took their boys for a couple of weeks in Syracuse in the summertime and they took mine, one at a time to France.

Two Amigos. Harry Green and Emric Navarre, around 1992

Each of us believes we got the better end of the deal.  I had to work each weekday at WTVH so the best I could offer was TV in my sun room, plenty of processed American kid food and an atmosphere of informality with children running around everywhere, sometimes with their clothes on.  With my four and their eldest two who were not old; perhaps 4 and 6 at the start of this annual arrangement, I felt like I had 15 kids which I may as well have had, since all six children were under the age of 9.  I was perpetually exhausted.  It was the happiest time of my life.

It wasn’t just hanging around the house that made this time so special; it was the familiarity of another close family among us, a different set of rules and many outings to beaches and barbecues and friend’s houses with still more children and more variety.   It would become apparent years later that my home in the University area of Syracuse was a refuge for the entire family as Marc’s corporate job forced several re-locations through the years and my home was a constant in all our lives.

Valerie instructs my Natalie how to "mother" Nicholas, 1992

Then my children got to go to France and experience Paris, the beaches near Bordeaux, ocean-front villas in Nice.   Museums, history, jet skis, French food, table manners.  Did I say we got the way better end of the deal?

For several years after the Navarres settled back in the States “for good”, they hopped in the car and made the drive to Syracuse from New Jersey and then Pittsburgh to join our family for our uniquely American holiday of Thanksgiving. They immersed themselves in this cultural event and I admired they went through the trouble when they could have just taken the time off to relax in their own home.  Now it is a tradition preceded by “where?” instead of “maybe”.   This year “where” meant Pittsburgh for the first time.

It is a scientific reality that other people’s children grow taller and bigger in the same amount of time than our own.  Upon arriving in Pittsburgh on Thursday I was greeted by two young men I scarcely recognized after one year; Emric and Nicholas.  Those beautiful little boy faces were still in there, tucked behind facial hair and a seriousness of purpose that comes with maturity.  It’s like I tell Christian “you used to be cute” which means you were once a little boy who was pretty and sweet enough to be a girl but then your voice changed and you turned alpha and coarse language crept into the daily vernacular even though you know it offends me.  It goes along with the time to be handsome and lean, to drive cars and flirt with girls.

Emric will graduate from American University in Washington in May.  One of 48 mathematics majors in his class, he joined the  ROTC on campus and will report to the naval flight academy in Pensacola, Florida in the summer.  Emric has had a lifelong fascination with flight.  I asked if he’d like to be an airline pilot once his days flying fighter jets are over.  He scrunched up his face and said no, after that that he’ll apply to NASA.

I was as proud as a non-aunt could be to hear this.  I remember when he was a toddler and his sites were set on every dirty thing he could put in his mouth.  Now his sites are set on being an astronaut.

Emric reminded me of something I had forgotten.  It was a visit to Paris in the winter of 1996 when I sent Natalie at the age of 11 to spend a week with the Navarres in their home during school break.  Before the trip to retrieve Natalie I asked Valerie what I could bring her little boys as gifts.

“Videos” she said.  The boys were losing their English and American movies would condition their ears.  I brought the brand new “Apollo 13″ starring Tom Hanks.  It was a hit.  I learned just last week how much of a hit it was.  Emric said he watched it over and over, wore it out practically, and decided right there and then at the age of 8 he would be an astronaut like Tom Hanks.

OK, so it’s not the kind of influence a teacher can provide over the course of a whole year in the classroom, or the confidence that comes from the Coach who believes in your athletic abilities when the rest of the team does not.  It’s not the kindly grandparents who greet every quirk with enthusiasm and acceptance that says “I love you no matter what you do or are”.  It was just a Hollywood movie selected by a mom of young boys for the other young boys in her life she loves too.  But I felt important when Emric told me my movie mattered.

Goodness, had I not brought Apollo 13 who knows what would have become of Emric?  He might have dropped out of school and spent his days on the mean streets of Paris panhandling money for crepes from a street vendor.  My simple gesture may have made the difference between success and a soup kitchen for him.  You just never know.

Never underestimate your reach on a young child.  You needn’t pull one out of a burning car to have a lasting impact.  You can do something as insignificant as handing over a thoughtful little gift, a gift that can chart the course of a life.

Remember the name Emric Navarre.  Now that NASA discovered a large supply of water on the moon we might all take a trip one day, and Emric may be the one who gets us there.

Tagged as: Apollo 13, NASA, Parenting